A journey to the inner self

"Many cry to God, but not with the voice of the soul, but with the voice of the body; only the cry of the heart, of the soul, reaches God."
-Saint Augustine

"We set forth our petitions before God, not in order to make known to Him our needs and desires, but rather so that we ourselves may realize that in these things it is necessary to turn to God for help."
-Saint Thomas Aquinas

This 30th Sunday in the Ordinary Time we are reminded of how our internal disposition in prayer is important. How do we approach the throne of grace, with humility and confidence or with boastfulness and pride? No one is righteous before the infinite majesty of God. No one is worthy to stand before His presence. Yet in this unworthiness God tells us that we are not worthless. Still one who humbles himself will be exulted; from our imperfections, there strength builds up confidence to approach God and tell Him how we are dependent on Him.

I remembered talking with a priest the other day and asked what is the most important aspect in human formation. He said it is prayer and spirituality. But there is this specific part in prayer that he gave emphasis and which is given less attention nowadays- that of what he called "internalization." It is a going to the inner most depths of one's self. It is a journey within to see and search God in one's heart. God dwells in each one and it is in this journey that we find not only God but who we are as His created beings. We come to an examination of our values, our morals, our actions, and totality in light of God's wonderful work for us.

I-Thou

It's brain wrecking to study philosophy especially those of the modern thinkers!
I couldn't think of a world without the Divine.

Just to share, my favorite groups are the existentialists like Kierkegaard, Buber, and Wojtyla.
They not only hold that man's essence cannot be separated from God but also it's height consists in a transcended relationship, one that not only sees each man as an object but a person as a subject.

This they called the I-Thou relationship.

When a good samaritan came

Doing my usual course and an "apostolate" for seminarians I drove for the evening recolletion to and fro the cathedral. After two  short drives, I decided to have my dinner and take a break before commencing on my reviews (oh, I'm still a student by the way and it really is hard when you have a lot of things to manage and do plus two major philosophy exams coming on the next day... and I still took the time to blog this out).

After I parked the vehicle, I alighted and guess what, the gate of the entrance is locked. I waited there for almost 5 minutes until a seminarian saw me. I waved at him hoping that he notices me and call the gatekeeper to have it opened. No. He just laughed at me. Another came and I also called his attention. Unlike the first one, he waved, then left. After almost 10 minutes, someone passed by and seeing me just seemed to ignored my presence. I took a chair and sat down. Looking around, I thought, WHO WOULD BE A GOOD SAMARITAN THIS EVENING?

Much like the story of the man beaten by robbers on his way to Jerusalem, many passed by and saw him but none responded generously. Is this selfishness that we think of our own benefits, of what is good only for ourselves? It is as if saying that being generous now entails something coming back to me after I do it. Well, one could say, "I am busy and I am doing a lot of things so I wasn't able to call the gatekeeper." Couldn't we give a short time for someone in need? This demands a heart of compassion, one that is sensitive to the needs of others.

There are just people who remember you when they need something from you but forgets you or not even remembers how you are doing when they are already happy and contented. Waiting was not a problem for me but it saddens me to see how insensitive others are especially when they call you their own brother, or do they? After 15 minutes, someone came and seeing me called the gatekeeper. Thank God there is still one who cares and I pray he makes a difference. This is more than a locked gate, when our hearts are locked and we do not open them for others. When our hearts have grown cold and selfish, we fail to see that there are others who like us, are in need of love.  What is in the heart of an apostolic work is not work per se. It is the heart open to one another as if seeing Christ in every person we encounter.

A blessed mishap

I left our house at 10:30 AM bound for Pacita Complex to pass our presentations planning that I should be back in LB in time to serve for Mass. When already in San Pedro I thought of passing by a co-seminarian's house then proceed with my endeavor. I did and as I was on my way to Pacita crossing the San Pedro bridge, the van's clutch malfunctioned and I couldn't shift gears. I only had a thousand in my pocket and I was problematic how things might work out. I was in the side way for almost two hours. Thank God there was a tricycle driver who generously offered me help by pushing the van to a better station and pointed me to an auto-shop a few meters across the street. I also extend my gratitude to Mr. Simatu who was about to go home but was interrupted just so fix my vehicle. He wasn't really a mechanic but a patrol officer I think as he said and a part-time jeepney driver.

It was a new experience. I had my cellphone with me but I did not call home for help. I thought there are a lot of people around and I could have used their help, which I did. If I were bringing the seminary van and I don't have a phone with me, what would I do? That I did.

I'm home safe, 7:45 PM, and wasn't able to serve in the Mass. I'll make up for it tomorrow and thank the Lord for not leaving me abandoned in the unfamiliar streets of San Pedro. 

God was at work!