As I was accompanying a nun in our seminary library she asked me, "Brother, how did you find your vocation?" I felt the curiosity was off-topic since we were minding her thesis about the Trinity and mine on Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI's relativism. I just answered "through prayer."
Jesus tells Simon in the gospel today to "put out into the deep" (Lk. 5:1-11). The disciples were catching fish for almost the whole night but caught nothing. It was their expertise. Their families for generations were fishermen and here comes a carpenter from Nazareth who tells them to lower their nets. Simon would have complained "What do you know of this, you are only a carpenter!" Yet through their obedience, they caught so much than what they have expected.
Recalling the point when I was deciding to enter the seminary or pursue a professional career, it was a serious moment of prayerful discernment. It was in prayer that I heard the call. In prayer we hear the Lord speak and He listens. It is a communion of two hearts - that of the Creator with His created. It is a meeting of a deer longing for panting streams (Ps. 42:1-5) and the life-giving water that whoever drinks will not be thirsty (Jn. 4:14).
Our questions and search for meanings all find their answers in prayer. St. Thomas Aquinas once believed that the best books in the world is the crucifix. Life's answers are not found in the many voluminous books and academic researches but in the meditation of the cross. When we fix out eyes on Jesus, when we tune our ears to the beating of His heart, when we lift our hands in adoration so too does He gaze on us, so too does He listens, so too does He stretch out his hands to embrace our humanity.
Where did I find my vocation? In prayer I know God led me to a place of refreshing springs. It may not be the land of milk and honey but surely it is the vineyard of the Lord where much work is to be done. He tells me to "put out into the deep" and though I have my personal hesitations - still I obey. This is the challenge for all, especially for Christians. God wants us to win souls for Him but we must first allow ourselves to be caught by His net of love. He calls us to different paths of life: some for the married life, others to different religious vocations, and some to the holy celibate life. Wherever and whatever He calls us to be, let not our response be a deaf ear but an open spirit of acceptance in His wisdom and divine plans. Jesus said, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men." Are we ready to leave our boats and follow Him? He calls us to put into the deep, duc in altum - will we?
No comments:
Post a Comment