I don't like being used

Have you experienced waking up one morning and suddenly a person you have been treating as a friend just turns out not talking to you anymore? Whether you have or not, it is saddening. It is sad when people make friends, or in proper words, befriend you because they just need something from you. It is injustice to friendship. It is immature. It is selfish.

One aspect of insensitivity is utilitarianism. This attitude lacks the proper virtues necessary to see that each person is not merely an object of one's pleasure but as subjects of relationships. The great John Paul II while still a prelate of Poland once wrote in a book he entitled Love and Responsibility (1960) commented how persons should not be treated as things which we just use and leave away afterwards; sounds like saying, no strings attached. He pointed out that “A person's rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use.” People are meant to be loved and not used.

Care, trust, and love - these are some of the essential parts in keeping a good friendship alive. They are not ideas floating in thin air but attitudes and expressions that needed to be acted upon. The insensitivity of utilitarianism stems from a frightening ego, one that devours even the wholeness of the person. When we allow ourselves to be pampered so much, when we always think we can get what we want, when we feel that all eyes are on us as if we are always the star of the show - this is ego.

This morning His Excellency Bishop Famadico celebrated Mass for us in honor of Sts. Cosmas and Damian. He reiterated the value and essence of having a relationship with Jesus. He repeatedly challenged us to know the Lord through a meditative question, "Who are You, Jesus?" It is a challenge because this question can be answered by academic research, by reading the scriptures, articles, books, etc. but the key to knowing who He really is is through a personal encounter, a relationship. The Bishop also reminded us of our commitment to the Lord. He said, "How could you commit to someone you do not know?" and this ignited our hearts to really encounter the Lord. Friendship is a person to person relationship and unless we know nothing of the other person, we would not have a real commitment because "friendship is not developed from information from others." Lastly he noted that will power to create friendship is not enough, it also requires the grace of God and one's openness and trust.

We meet different people daily and everyone is not expected to be a close friend of us. The challenge is how we look at them and deal with them. A smile is not bad. A simple "Hi!" or "Good morning" would not be a burden.